"Go Cocks," quoth Stephen Colbert!

"I promise, if elected, I will crush the state of Georgia!"

South Carolina's "Favorite Son"—and Doritos enthusiast—Stephen Colbert kicked off his Presidential campaign with a rousing ceremony at The Horseshoe on Monday. Nearly 1000 students showed up as Mayor Bob Coble presented Colbert with a key to the city and pronounced October 28th, "Stephen Colbert Day."

I could go on to describe the awesomeness of the event, but words alone cannot capture the power of such a moving event. Thankfully, WIS was there with a camera to record the speech. You really have to watch it...you won't be disappointed...

"First to secede. First to succeed!"™

Colbert Ceremony—WIS Video

Now back to our regularly scheduled season

In lieu of actual content over the past week, I bring you something far more satisfying than what the Gamecock football team is currently offering. This might be the most insane football highlight I have ever seen.

The Vanderbilt Experience, Part III: Arts and Stuff

With Saturday's contest quickly approaching, let's wrap up our brief exploration into the timeless question, "Why is Vanderbilt in the SEC?"

Most SEC schools fall into the classification of what you would call "football schools." Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia...and so on...these are not so much institutions of higher learning as they are institutions of football yearning. Everything is done with football in mind. Vacations are scheduled around road trips. Holiday time with the family is squeezed in around bowl appearances. Life begins...and ends...on Saturday.

Saturdays are equally as important at Vanderbilt. Lest you think that they have misplaced their priorities in Nashville, take a listen to what one of their very own has to say about the situation...

"I can go to a football game on a Saturday...or I can go to dance practice."

You see, at Vanderbilt, football is no longer the forgotten stepchild. It is not the dirty little secret that lies neglected and nearly-forgotten. At Vanderbilt, times have changed. At Vanderbilt, football has now risen to a level of prominence that brings it on par with dance practice.

So this week, we've learned that Vanderbilt's student life grounds the SEC with an anchor of intellect. We've learned that Vanderbilt's championship athletics bring pride to the SEC. And now we've learned that Vanderbilt's students have elevated football to an art form. There should be no doubt now that Vanderbilt belongs in the SEC. They bring a sense of rich, erudite diversity that cannot be found in places like Tuscaloosa or Starkville. Theirs is not a tradition to be mocked, but savored. Here's to you, Vanderbilt, for classing up the joint.

AAAAH!!! This post is haunted!!! Seriously...DO NOT CLICK ON IT!!! Don't say I didn't warn you...

Mommy, make the scary man go away!!!

The Vanderbilt Experience, Part II: Championship Athletics

Today we continue our look into the question, "Why is Vanderbilt in the SEC?" Part II of our series delves into the subtle sports tradition of the Vanderbilt Commodores.

We all know that the school places a perplexing amount of emphasis on academics. But did you know that they placed a similarly perplexing amount of emphasis on sports? Indeed, they do. In fact, the most notable facet of Vanderbilt athletics is probably the fact that Vanderbilt does not have athletics. Seriously. They have no Athletic Department—it was dissolved in 2003.

With priorities like that, is it really any wonder that last April, the Vanderbilt Women's Bowling team won the first team NCAA Championship in Vanderbilt University history?

In the SEC, they say that if you're not cheatin', you're not tryin'. At Vanderbilt, they're neither cheating nor trying. Which is just how we like it. Without Vanderbilt, who would you schedule for Homecoming? So while fans around the SEC deride the Dores for their incompetence on the field, they fail to realize that they need Vanderbilt to suck.

In this wacky era of USC and Kentucky in the Top 10, it's reassuring to see Vandy remain as a dependable source of suck. As the North Star has guided sailors on the seas for centuries, these Commodores have themselves been that constant, guiding beacon...shining evermore from the bottom of the standings.

The Vanderbilt Experience, Part I: Student Life

For more than 15 years, students, educators, and historians have asked, "Why is Vanderbilt in the SEC?" There are probably many well-reasoned answers to that question, but we'll ignore those this week as we look into the Commodores' controversial—but very necessary—inclusion in the Southeastern Conference.

First, we will tackle student life. The SEC is loaded with fun places to go to school...Florida, Georgia, LSU...I could go on and on. But too much fun can lead to total anarchy. Let's break it down like this...think of the SEC as Bayside High School. The students there are totally super awesome...A.C. Slater, Zach Morris, Kelly Kapowski...I could go on and on. But who is it that grounds that group? Who tethers their way cool party fun kick assness to reality? Screech. He is the group's brainy center...without him everything would fall apart.

So Vanderbilt is our Screech, our connection to actually academia. Here's to you, Vanderbilt...for keeping the rest of us on the straight-and-narrow, for raising our average GPA, and for helping us feign even the most flimsy facade of interest in actual academic endeavors.

*(In the interest of full disclosure...this video was made by Duke students. Yes. Duke students. Making fun of Vanderbilt for being too preppy. Duke students.)

Vanderbilt Week...

The Record
6-1 (2-0 SEC East, 3-1 SEC), #6 AP Poll/#8 USAToday Coaches' Poll
We did our job…went in to Chapel Hill…took the Tarheels’ minds off of basketball for four hours…made just enough ballplays…and came out with a win.

The Previous Week
Beat UNC 21-15 in Chapel Hill
It was a gorgeous fall day for football up in Chapel Hill. Kenan Stadium was packed with Tarheels still hung over from “Late Night with Roy,” and Gamecocks hoping to see their team administer an epic beatdown.

And for a half…the beatdown was going well. Smelley was clicking—spreading the ball around to three different receivers on three first-half TD passes. Boyd and Davis were making some tough runs, keeping the chains moving. It was nothing spectacular, but the Cocks put in a workman-like performance worthy of a 21-3 halftime lead.

Then…the second half. In what is starting to become a habit, USC came sleepwalking out of the lockerroom, unaware that there was still 30 minutes of football left. Drive after drive, they ended up in third-and-short situations, were unable to convert, and were forced to punt. And for a quarter, UNC complied by not taking advantage of our ineptitude.

But in the fourth quarter, the Tarheels came alive—putting points on the board and keeping the Gamecocks in submissive position the rest of the way. All we needed was one more first down to ice this thing, but that first down would never come. All we needed was a field goal to put it out of reach, but it clanged harmlessly off the upright.

So, as if someone had queued last year’s Kentucky game up on the Tivo, it came down to some desperation throws at the end. And thankfully, this game ended in the same fashion…with a bunch of grumpy—but victorious—Gamecocks.

The Upcoming Week
Saturday versus Vanderbilt in Columbia
It’s been established that this Vanderbilt team is not the Vandy of old. They’re a capable squad that will make you work for a win. They won’t just lie down. And they have the best wide receiver in the conference. This is a good team.

But this is a team USC has no business losing to, especially at home. Will Spurrier bounce back from his “putrid offense” in the UNC game with one of his patented blowouts? Will he make this a statement game that says we deserve our lofty ranking? It seems like a bit of a breather, but this is a conference game and will be an important jumping off point for the second half of the season.

The Team
“No heart…no heart,” Cory Boyd was overheard saying Saturday after the game. He was understandably pissed at his team’s performance against UNC, and for good reason. This was a game that was firmly in our grasp at halftime. We should have come out in the second half and extended the lead to Spurrieresque blowout proportions.

But whether it was lack of heart, lack of killer instinct, or lack of proper blocking technique…something was amiss. But the good news is that our team and our coaches know about it and are on the case. We know we have the talent, but we haven’t been able to string together four good quarters yet. I am confident that they will solve this problem and come out roaring Saturday—putting together a satisfying, complete game for the home crowd.

The Gamecock Nation
Lou Holtz talked about culture change. Steve Spurrier is bringing about culture change. Two examples from Saturday night proved this to me, undoubtedly.

• Seconds after the game was over, the UNC crowd erupted into a spontaneous standing ovation for their Tarheels. They were ecstatic that they got that close to winning. Their celebration should look familiar…it’s the same celebration that broke out in Williams-Brice after we almost knocked off #2 Auburn last year. And it’s the same celebration that earned a harsh rebuke from the Head Ball Coach.

So while we watched the Tarheels celebrate their loss, the USC fans were disgusted. We were pissed…and I’m glad we were pissed. It shows that we have expectations. Close isn’t good enough for us anymore.

• Back at the tailgate, we huddled around a stranger’s TV to watch the end of LSU/Kentucky. In between one of the overtimes, one of our friends said, “Well, at least we’re bowl-eligible.” And that was the first time I had heard that phrase all week. It was almost two hours after the game and no one had mentioned it.

Back in the day, six wins was the Holy Grail. Could we do it? Could we get six wins? Could we make it to a bowl? Golly gee gosh, can we go to a bowl, pleeeeease? “Bowl-eligible” was a constant in a Gamecock fan’s vocabulary. But this last Saturday, it was virtually absent. After reaching the same benchmark that would have sent us into spastic celebration only a few years ago, we stewed over our win, not noticing a thing.

That’s culture change.