UNC...You're the best (around)!

Pray that this video does not fall into the hands of Butch Davis, because the motivational punch it contains would surely fuel a fire fit to engulf all future Tarheel foes.

Seriously, I want to hate on it. But it's kinda awesome.

Fun with stats!

• Clemson punts blocked in Tommy Bowden's 7-year tenure, according to Tommy Bowden: 0
• Clemson punts blocked in Tommy Bowden's 7-year tenure, according to facts: 12

Close enough.

But what about Thunder and Lightning...

...or, as Mike Patrick christened them, Mild and Partly Cloudy? Either James Davis and CJ Spiller are the most overrated running back duo of all time or Tommy Bowden is the worst squanderer of talent of all time. I think it's probably the latter.

Coming into the season, I would have told you that Clemson's RB duo was probably better than Carolina's. But now I'm not so sure. The stats don't lie...Tommy Bowden does.

UNC Week...

The Record
5-1 (2-0 SEC East, 3-1 SEC), #7 AP Poll/#12 USAToday Coaches' Poll
We haven’t been ranked this high since…who knows when. Florida lost. SoCal lost. Oh, and Clemson lost…again. It’s a good time to be a Gamecock.

The Previous Week
Beat Kentucky 38-23 in Columbia
As Weslye Saunders rumbled towards the end zone early in Thursday night’s nationally-televised showdown, visions of SEC Championships were dancing in our heads. This was the year it would all come together. The dark times were finally behind us! Then…whoops…fumble…touchback…Kentucky ball. Same old Carolina. Another vicious Cock tease.

But before the 76,200 rain-soaked fans could even say “Blackout,” Jonathan Williams and Eric Norwood made a century of bad Carolina Karma their bitch—forcing a turnover from the thought-to-be Heisman-worthy Andre’ Woodson and stumbling into the end zone for a 7-0 lead.

From there, things stayed relatively even through halftime. Smelley lead a great scoring drive, but couldn’t put together too much more, thanks to a surprisingly-stingy Kentucky defense. But the Carolina defense showed up as well, holding the normally-potent Wildcat offense to only 10 points by halftime.

Offensively, the third quarter was a disaster, but again the USC defense took charge. As Casper Brinkley came down on Woodson, the Kentucky QB made another costly blunder—throwing a pass behind his receiver, who bobbled the backwards pass onto the ground and into the arms of the opportunistic Eric Norwood. The score was now 24-10. And while a lot of drama remained, this turned out to be the winning score. The game was already over.

The Upcoming Week
Saturday versus UNC in Chapel Hill
Thursday night, this was looking like a cakewalk. But by Saturday afternoon, lots of Gamecocks had to be scratching their heads as the UNC/Miami score scrolled across their ticker. What did it mean? Is UNC actually OK? Should we be worried?

Yes.

And no.

If we learned one thing Saturday, it’s that UNC should not be overlooked. They came to play against Miami and will certainly come to play against the Gamecocks. Their team—and their fans—will be jacked up for the challenge. They see the #7 team in the country rolling into town and their mouths are watering. For Butch Davis, this could be a program-defining victory. And I will be the first to tell you, yes, we could lose this game.

But we won’t. The shocking win over Miami might have been just as important for USC as it was for UNC. Now, Steve Spurrier will have no difficulty convincing his team not to overlook the Heels. We have a ton of players from North Carolina who want bragging rights bad. And this is a team that knows it’s not so good that they can just sleepwalk up to Chapel Hill and win. This team has work ethic. This team will be out for blood.

The Team
For the offense, it’s either feast or famine. Smelley has shown that he is capable of leading gorgeous drives when we need them…just look at that last drive before halftime against Kentucky. But he has also shown that the wheels can come off the wagon just as fast…what the hell happened in the 3rd quarter? This will be a great opportunity to spread the ball around, get our young receivers into the game, and try to re-establish our occasionally-shaky running game.

Defensively, what more could you ask for? We lose Pepper. We lose Brinkley. Yet the defense doesn’t miss a beat—holding in check one of the most heralded of offenses we’ll face this year. With this defense on the field, I am completely confident that we can stay on the field with any team in the country.

The Gamecock Nation
I am a relatively new Gamecock fan. I wasn’t here for the ACC era. I don’t really get the hatred that a lot of Gamecocks still have for the Tobacco Road establishment. But I’ve heard enough stories to realize that this game is big. This game is about “Carolina.”

What is “Carolina”? Is it George Rogers hoisting the Heisman or is it Michael Jordan downing the Hoyas? Is it Tanneyhill’s glorious mullet or is it Montross’ gruesome blood-geyser? It depends on who you ask. The answers you get in Columbia and Chapel Hill are pretty obvious. But what about the swing states? If you walk into a bar in Bozeman, what answer would you get? Fellow Gamecocks, I hate to tell you, but you probably wouldn’t like the answer.

So that’s what this game is about. There hasn’t been much recent history in this series. The rivalry has remained dormant with the Carolina of the pansy-ass blue variety being the most recognizable one. But win this game, and maybe, just maybe, the folks in Bozeman will start to turn. If we can win this game, we can prove to these people who the real Carolina is. Prove it on the field and everything else is just talk. Let’s kick some baby blue ass on Saturday and turn some of those Blue States into Red States.

Celebratory Day Off Viewing Guide

You’ve just beaten the #8 team in the country. Your Top 10 ranking is imminent. Your business is done for the week. So while you patiently wait for the polls to come out on Sunday, use this weekend off to kick back and take in some games that you might normally be too preoccupied to check out.

Here’s a little viewers’ guide to some selected highlights of Saturday’s action.

Miami, Fla @ North Carolina, Noon, ESPN2
Time to scout next week’s competition. This game will tell us if UNC is really, really shitty or simply just shitty. Look for our match-up to open up as a 20+ point spread on Sunday evening.

Georgia Tech @ Maryland, Noon, LFS/GP
"The Chan Gailey Equilibirum” demands that Tech loses this one. Plus, The Fridge seems to have his ex-team’s number.

Georgia @ Tennessee, 3:30 p.m., CBS
The winner of this one stays in the SEC East race by the skin of their teeth (or, based on the fanbases, “tooth”). The loser should start booking hotel rooms in Shreveport.

N.C. State @ Florida State, 3:30 p.m., ABC/GP
Florida State is back! Again! No…really, this time! For reals!

Oklahoma vs. Texas, 3:30 p.m., ABC/GP
This was supposed to be an important game. I guess the winner has an inside track on the Big 12 South. I have searched deep inside myself and found no reason to care.

Iowa @ Penn State, 3:30 p.m., ABC/ESPN
Oh, JoePa, why do you torture us so? You tease us with a good start…and now this…the battle to determine the Big 10’s biggest disappointment.

Virginia Tech @ Clemson, 6:00 p.m., ESPN
Clemson will win this one…guaranteed. Check your Tommy Bowden Choose Your Own Adventure playbook. It says, “If you just laid an egg against a mediocre conference team you had no business losing to, you are wasting talented players, you have extinguished early-season enthusiasm, the fans are starting to grumble (again), and your career is in dire jeopardy…turn to page 47.” You turn to that page…and…congratulations! "You defeat a wildly overrated team by feeding off of the jacked-up emotion of your home crowd—appeasing the critics and saving your job!" I love this book. It gets better and better every time I read it.

Florida @ LSU, 8:00 p.m., CBS
Such a huge game…so many questions. Can Florida rebound? Les or Urban…who is the sleaziest? How will Verne be able to call the game while simultaneously fellating Tim Tebow?

Notre Dame @ UCLA, 8:00 p.m., ABC/GP
If you are unfortunate enough to be in this game’s coverage are…I’m sorry. You might just want to check out Shall We Dance? on Lifetime. It really can’t be any worse.

Ohio State @ Purdue, 8:00 p.m., ABC/GP
Good defense vs. good offense. Can Purdue score enough to…wait…why the hell aren’t you watching Florida/LSU?

Kentucky Pre-Game...

Another USC/Kentucky game…yet another battle for the division lead…blah, blah, blah…

The Game
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Williams-Brice Stadium
Columbia, SC
7:30pm

The Set-Up
There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t been said about the importance of this game. It’s #11 vs. #8. It’s for the lead in the SEC East. It’s for a spot in the Top 10. It’s probably the most important game in Williams-Brice stadium in 25+ years.

Yes, there have been a lot of “big” games in town before. The Blackout…Auburn ’06…they were big, but in all honesty, they were mis-matches. They were longshots—an up and coming team versus and established power. David and Goliath. They were big opportunity games for a USC team that was looking to gain a foothold on the national scene.

Thursday’s night game is entirely different. These are two evenly-matched teams. Both have a lot to prove to the country. The whole college football world will be watching, waiting for one of these “pretenders” to fall so they can say, “I told you so.”

But as huge as this game is—win or lose—it’s really just another step for either team. The SEC is a brutal cycle where, each week, you must step up and prove that you belong. Kentucky has LSU and Florida lined-up next. South Carolina has a week or two to breathe before finishing out with Tennessee, Arkansas, and Florida. Win, and you survive until the next big game. Lose, and you still stay in the Top 25, waiting until your next big shot to knock off the big boys.

The Deciding Factor
Prepare yourself now…Kentucky will score a lot of points Thursday night. Andre' Woodson is the real deal. Anyone hoping for a Quincy Carter redux is going to be sorely disappointed. But as good as the Wildcat offense is, they have yet to face a defense like ours. Now, don’t expect us to shut them down; that's not going to happen. Let me say again, Kentucky will score a lot of points.

But Tyrone Nix, the master of bend-but-don’t-break, will have his boys fired up and ready to challenge Kentucky on every down. They will line up and force Woodson to earn every single yard. Look for a back-and-forth struggle all the way into the 4th quarter. There will be some huge plays given up. There will be some rough patches. But don’t get frustrated, because someone on our defense will step up and make a play when we need it most—turning the game around in its final minutes.

The Final
South Carolina, 34
Kentucky, 28

The Bowden Pick...Zapruder style

After an arduous search, we have finally uncovered a passable-quality video of The Bowden Pick. But this is not just a quick pick, ladies and gentlemen. This is a full-scale boring operation into the nether regions of Baby Bowden's nasal cavity. This is a journey into previously uncharted territory. This is the stuff of Jules Verne. Many boogers died to bring us this information.

If only he had spent more time gameplanning than mining for nose-nuggets, maybe his Tigers would still be undefeated. But alas, they were shot down by Georgia Tech in the annual Tommy Bowden Presents: A Clemson Tiger Depantsing™.


(HD quality photo courtesy the fine folks at The Hive)

Hey No

Let's kick off the week with a rousing Kentucky version of everyone's favorite four-year-old anthem to proper film developing techniques. With mad production skillz such as these, this guy...sicknode, I believe...is poised to join the Pantheon of Bluegrass State music legends—which already includes Billy Ray Cyrus, Brian Littrell, and Kevin Richardson. Yes, it's true...the state of Kentucky is responsible for two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys.

Somewhere out there, André 3000 is crying.