You’ve just beaten the #8 team in the country. Your Top 10 ranking is imminent. Your business is done for the week. So while you patiently wait for the polls to come out on Sunday, use this weekend off to kick back and take in some games that you might normally be too preoccupied to check out.
Here’s a little viewers’ guide to some selected highlights of Saturday’s action.
Miami, Fla @ North Carolina, Noon, ESPN2
Time to scout next week’s competition. This game will tell us if UNC is really, really shitty or simply just shitty. Look for our match-up to open up as a 20+ point spread on Sunday evening.
Georgia Tech @ Maryland, Noon, LFS/GP
"The Chan Gailey Equilibirum” demands that Tech loses this one. Plus, The Fridge seems to have his ex-team’s number.
Georgia @ Tennessee, 3:30 p.m., CBS
The winner of this one stays in the SEC East race by the skin of their teeth (or, based on the fanbases, “tooth”). The loser should start booking hotel rooms in Shreveport.
N.C. State @ Florida State, 3:30 p.m., ABC/GP
Florida State is back! Again! No…really, this time! For reals!
Oklahoma vs. Texas, 3:30 p.m., ABC/GP
This was supposed to be an important game. I guess the winner has an inside track on the Big 12 South. I have searched deep inside myself and found no reason to care.
Iowa @ Penn State, 3:30 p.m., ABC/ESPN
Oh, JoePa, why do you torture us so? You tease us with a good start…and now this…the battle to determine the Big 10’s biggest disappointment.
Virginia Tech @ Clemson, 6:00 p.m., ESPN
Clemson will win this one…guaranteed. Check your Tommy Bowden Choose Your Own Adventure playbook. It says, “If you just laid an egg against a mediocre conference team you had no business losing to, you are wasting talented players, you have extinguished early-season enthusiasm, the fans are starting to grumble (again), and your career is in dire jeopardy…turn to page 47.” You turn to that page…and…congratulations! "You defeat a wildly overrated team by feeding off of the jacked-up emotion of your home crowd—appeasing the critics and saving your job!" I love this book. It gets better and better every time I read it.
Florida @ LSU, 8:00 p.m., CBS
Such a huge game…so many questions. Can Florida rebound? Les or Urban…who is the sleaziest? How will Verne be able to call the game while simultaneously fellating Tim Tebow?
Notre Dame @ UCLA, 8:00 p.m., ABC/GP
If you are unfortunate enough to be in this game’s coverage are…I’m sorry. You might just want to check out Shall We Dance? on Lifetime. It really can’t be any worse.
Ohio State @ Purdue, 8:00 p.m., ABC/GP
Good defense vs. good offense. Can Purdue score enough to…wait…why the hell aren’t you watching Florida/LSU?
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